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November 25, 2014 – Monologue Jokes

1. Yesterday, embattled comedian Bill Cosby’s show in Yakima, Washington was canceled by event organizers. But, if I know anything about Cosby, he doesn’t take “no” for an answer. 2. The Grand Jury in...

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January 12, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Sunday, while baptizing 33 infants in the Sistine Chapel, Pope Francis told the mothers to feel free to breastfeed if their babies cried or were hungry. Which was a nice sentiment, but I think...

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January 30, 2015 -Monologue Jokes

1. According to controversial new regulations, female athletes with as much testosterone in their blood as some men are not allowed to compete in women’s sporting events. Said one WNBA fan, “Those were...

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February 2, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Last night the New England Patriots beat the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 to win SuperBowl 49. So hope you like neon green hats and shirts, kids of Africa. 2. In an effort to avoid another ‘deflategate’...

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February 10, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. The Grammy Awards drew the smallest TV audience since 2009, with just 25.3 million people watching. And that number includes Sia, even though she was facing the wrong way the entire time. 2. Rap...

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June 24, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. On Thursday, CNN hired recently-fired Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski. And, to really fuck with Trump, CNN also hired Marla and Ivana. 2. Music stars Jennifer Lopez, Katy Perry,...

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August 5, 2016 – Monologue Jokes

1. Eric Trump appeared on CBS This Morning on Tuesday and defended his father’s ongoing feud with the family of veteran, saying, “What I think this country needs is a fighter.” And you’ve need seen...

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March 24, 2017 – Monologue Jokes

1. Earlier this week, Alexei Navalny, a prominent critic of Russian President Vladimir Putin, was doused with a liquid that turned his skin bright green by an unknown assailant. And, apparently if...

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October 27, 2017 – Monologue Jokes

1. Pop-star Katy Perry had a malfunction during a concert in Nashville last week that left her suspended in the air above the audience. But, to her credit, Perry’s been stuck in worse situations, after...

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August 12, 2019 – Monologue Jokes

1. A 107-year-old woman in the Bronx said the secret to her long life was never getting married. “Solid advice,” said Nicole Brown Simpson. 2. Last week, a Florida man who goes by the name ‘Murder’ and...

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